Hi! Well, um, here we go. For anyone that knows me, and knows me well, they know that I am quite a private person. Despite making videos, which in reality I tried to avoid as well, I prefer to be in the background assisting others. I create quietly in my own vivid world with my house plants (mainly Fred and Begonia), rose quartz clusters and the peach coloured cat that peers in the window at me every now and again after a sunny stretch session on the sidewalk. I call her Pêche, by the way.
In all honestly I wasn’t private from a place of shyness or insecurity as much as it was from an intense pressure and desire to integrate certain gifts I felt were wild inside me. I could sense that my ability to truly understand myself , love myself, and explore myself was primary. That if I could not get to a certain threshold inside of myself, I would not reach my own timeless creativity. I wanted to be able to write, speak and act powerfully from my heart.
I felt as though I had to cultivate my ability to connect with spirit, translate spirit and I felt a sense of responsibility with each message I shared. I did not feel I had the same abilities as the traditional psychics of our time and I wanted to know why. I wanted to get my guides as awake within me as possible and establish a deep connection with my own inner peace so that it could become more of my default.
Spending so much time in the fashion world made me realize that status, or perceived status, does not make one happy. Time after time I saw very famous people flopping around the VIP section of the an event radiating a toxic smattering of over exposure and no inner compass or sense of who they truly are. My experience in this world illustrated to me that ‘success’ is actually a place inside of ourselves, and once we reach it the entire material world bends to our will. This is what we strive for, a magical internal environment, although many people have this dynamic backwards.
I felt I had to know my unique voice and be able to sense and speak from different levels of energy; I wanted it to come through clearly and efficiently. During this process I wasn’t always so open, sometimes I was closed off and stubborn with these energies/beings which, oddly, only made them love me even more unconditionally. This lead to me building a deeper and stronger rapport with them teaching me that love and wisdom is always one choice away, one breathe away. I can choose it and rise, or ignore it and spiral downward.
I wanted to feel wisdom in virtually any emotional state, or at the very least not let myself drift too far from it. After all, what good is a connection that can be shaken away from you at the lightest touch? How will I serve others or myself if I do not know how to ride these quiet waves? Am I going to be controlled by my sensitivities or am I going to use them as tools? Further, what good is it to feverishly promote my work before I feel I can truly handle the responsibility of holding space for myself and others?
I realize that these are lofty goals and I do not expect myself to be perfect, rather I wanted to reach the place inside of me where I could feel everything pause, and I wanted to build strength enough to live there. I wanted to dissolve metallic layers of heavy thought, and crooked ancestral lies that lived with me, that dimmed my light and muted my voice. I knew that until these frequent visitors lost their power I would be subject to their influence.
Perhaps most of all I wanted to be worthy of the work that I do, and the opportunities that I am given. Being an intuitive is a gift, and career, I honour and take seriously. I wanted to feel this life whistle through me in the highest octave, and let each unique moment make a constellation of my soul. To connect with you all each week is part of this journey for me and it is truly my joy, and through you I know myself.
I am writing all this as a ritual, to make space for a new phase- a new summer. I have been drawn to share more of myself and my life with you all. So, from now on I will be adding more Gigi-ish content on both my Youtube channel and Blog. I look forward to sharing more of myself with you on a personal level as catching glimpses into other peoples world allows for a whole different type of transmission to occur. I welcome the vast osmosis that this allows.
Thank You a thousand times to everyone who has followed me, supported me and loved me. I will always do my best to follow, support and love you.
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