Can a person connect to you without consent, I’m actually confused about pretty much everything, but I’m steadily trying to understand the do’s and dont’s. And also why do some teachers say that connection should only be acted on with consent, and other teachers say the opposite. I have no control over who connects to me and who I connect to, is this strange or different? I’m really concerned because I don’t hear a lot on the subject..
Great questions and certainly a dilemma that we all face as we begin to increase our intuitive ability. What is ethical when it comes to reading others? Ultimately I can give a few guidelines but it will be up to you, as an individual, to determine how you use your gifts. There is no one answer here as each intuitive reads differently, and even though all intuitives are tuning into other peoples worlds, every psychic has their own unique purpose.
First of all, can we actually connect with another person without their consent?
Yes, you do not actually need consent to read someones energy. You can be on the bus and pick up certain tidbits about what is going on in someone else’s world. This is possible because one of the main reasons we sense energy is for our survival. We need to read people quickly to sense whether or not they are a threat. We are actually always intuitively reading our environment, and the people around us, it is just that this process is mainly subconscious. Until we take our focus and place it on this ability it will stay subconscious and we will not have direct conscious control of it. If you are reading this article it is likely that you are on a journey where you are taking this process from the back of your consciousness to the front. So, yes, you can access peoples energy without their consent.
The real question is not whether you can read others. The real question is: what is the quality of read you are going to get? What are the repercussions?
There is no doubt about it, having consent to read someone is going to give you the most deep, meaningful and rich information. Ideally when you are using your intuition for another it is a co-creation, very much like a dance. The moment that you begin forcing the information is the moment negative distortions can begin. It is possible to force yourself into peoples lives but it will take a toll, the ideal type of connection, for obvious reasons, is mutual. Without an individual opening up to you the information may not be as accurate. Ego (on both sides) can begin to overshadow the original intentions and you can begin to attach chords to that person.
Consent is a funny thing when it comes to psychic connection. People often do not present themselves authentically making how deep you go with someone something you have to feel into. Being a good intuitive means understanding the difference between flowing and pushing. It means discerning between truly having a receptive person in front of you and someone who wants none of what you have to offer. For example, I have had experiences where people have doubts on the surface and they are trying to hold back, but their spirit is loud and clear with messages and validations. You can feel a little flutter of paper thin anxiety and then their fear dissolves into a puddle as their spirit rushes forward. It is fun when this happens as you get to experience a blossoming with someone. You get to be part of their spiritual realization. It is an honour to sit with someone who is at that point.
I have also had experiences where someone is not giving me consent. They will invest in a reading, and have issues that they would genuinely like guidance on, but there is a part of themselves that does not want to hear the information, or, there is a part of them that is not sure about the nature of psychic ability. Even though they feel they would like a reading, part of them is resisting the experience. This is very rare, however, due to this mis-alignment, where the majority of their consciousness is saying “no”, I do not have access to certain areas, not without applying force, which I will not do. I only work with what is free and clear.
Honouring the unfoldment process & mutual respect during readings
Contrary to popular belief it is not an intuitives job to prove that the other side exists. Each individual has a personal unfoldment process that is directly linked to what they can psychologically handle. Realizing that there is an entire world beyond this one, that they have a life purpose, spirit guides, karma etc. is life changing. Where they are in this process is their responsibility. If an individual is not in a position to get to a solid, obvious, unquestionable connection with spirit there is nothing that can be done to override that. This used to upset me when I first started out, I wanted to prove that spirit existed, I wanted everyone to have a ‘wow’ experience. I did not understand why some readings were incredibly specific while others were like trying to hear a whisper through a hair dryer. I would beat myself up if I didn’t get the exact answer to a question. I now understand that this is ego and sometimes the answer to a question, according to spirit, is another question. Sometimes it is actually about the energy that is being transferred and the space you are holding, not the words. As intuitives we must honour the nuances and sheer mystery of working with spirit.
As psychics we cannot control what comes through, a good intuitive will be good at framing questions and adjusting their energy to make sure they are getting all the guidance they can for their client. It is an intuitives job to “check the messages” so to speak, to be a bridge. That will look different depending on where the client is on their path. Understanding this, and drawing that line, helps honour a mutual consent allowing both the intuitive and the subject to come away from the reading honoured. Consent works both ways, just as it is not ethical for an intuitive to be creepy and manipulative with their gifts, it is also not balanced for a client to place the weight of their belief system, faith, or their personal growth, onto another person. Obviously people don’t mean to do that when they get a reading, but it can over-burden the intuitive if this flow and co-creative element is not understood.
Reading by proxy
The other issue that comes up regarding consent is when intuitives are asked to do readings by proxy. Intuitives will often get asked to do readings within readings, where even though they are reading for their client, they are also asked to read for several more people: their mothers, sisters, husbands, friends etc. When you are doing a reading by proxy you do not have consent to read those people. It is likely that you will not get information that is as deep as you would if you had consent. The information you receive will be limited and filtered through what is valuable for your client to know. It is likely that certain things will be vague or off limits, especially if you work with a strong intention to work in the light. The fact that you do not have consent will limit your ability to read. This does not mean that the information you do get is not good. Often times you will be able to get messages specifically around your clients connection to that person and the best course of action that they can take in regards to who that person is to them.
Intention and consent protects intuitives
Understanding consent protects intuitives. You really do not want to start forcing your way into peoples lives, if you do not have consent I recommend reading with caution. When we impose ourselves onto others we are subject to psychic attachments. These psychic attachments will stay with us until we can understand why we desire to act so forcibly.
On top of that, the individual you are reading without consent will also have the right to peer into your life, or project their energy, to the degree that you have intruded your energy. This may prove to be damaging for you if someone is in a very low point in their lives and has a lot of chaos, depression and darker astral beings attached to them. You really do not want to be merging with that as it will resonate out wounded aspects of yourself. It is best to set an intention where you state that you wish to connect with loving, peaceful flows of energy and light. This acts as a stop loss and prevents you from accidentally pushing yourself upon someone and thus being subjected to their energy in return.
When I think of consent I also think about remote viewing. If you have not heard of this practice, remote viewing is the ability to project your consciousness to a location, often called “the target”. If it sounds a bit military-ish you would be right, the military has employed remote viewers in its covert programs for decades. Many remote viewers certainly do not have consent to view their targets, however, remote viewing techniques are more surface based. They are not designed to tap into an individuals inner world the way that other intuitive techniques are. Remote viewers lean towards locating objects and people. Remote viewers, unless exceptional, cannot simultaneously perceive your subtle world, they are more interested in the 3d reality of their subject. It should also be noted that remote viewers can be pushed away if they are detected. You will experience this if you try to remote view an underground base or other secret locations. Mua ha ha haaaa!
Why do some intuitives stress consent and others do not?
Many psychics have varying opinions on this and that is pretty normal. Psychics are people, and each person has their own set of boundaries. It comes down to their unique sense of space. I know intuitives, Theresa Caputo comes to mind, that will approach you while you are having lunch. They just don’t think that there is anything wrong with that. It is likely that Theresa Caputo would not mind people coming up to her randomly. She seems to view everyone as her family. This allows her to work in a more assertive way. This natural familial archetype within her personality may also allow her to psychically sense whether people are actually open, so it only looks intrusive.
I also know other intuitives where you practically have to beg them to do a reading for you, if you can get a hold of them, that is. Intuitives on this end of the spectrum may be more introverted and do not like to be disturbed, for them a more formal approach is comfortable. They like to be left to their own energy so they treat others with the same caution. I have seen intuitives speak against “ambush” readings, finding them “offensive” and “unethical”. Is it offensive to forcibly give a spiritual message? Well, that judgement would be up to the individual who is being ambushed. Consent is something that the intuitive establishes via their own psychic development, unique purpose and personality. In my opinion, there is no a consensus in this community around consent.
“I have no control over who connects to me and who I connect to, is this strange or different?”
This is not strange. Many people are like this, what is wonderful about this statement is that you are aware of these connections. Many people have etheric chords hooking into unhealthy garbage energy all over the place. Their energy body is literally funnelling energetic, chaotic trash. The worst part about it is that they feel as though the thoughts and emotions are theirs. They are depressed, angry, and dark, not because that is who they are, but because they cannot re-establish their personal power. It is big deal to recognize your sensitivity, so kudos to you!
That said, what now? Well, you have to begin having a regular meditation practice where you begin to sense your inner world. You have to establish a deep still foundation so you can see things rise and fall. What is yours? What are you carrying that is too heavy? Bring light in, and start to dissolve anxiety and extended lower emotional states. When we learn to love, observe and listen it becomes increasingly obvious what is ours (light) and what is not (unnecessary fear). Begin doing activities that you love, by doing your purpose, and feeling your own joy, it becomes difficult to be pulled down the wrong road. Cultivate a strong sense of identity through dedicating yourself to your passions.
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